The Unexpected Call

He was a Radio presenter, and I delivered the news. It was the year 2000. We were both almost out of university, excited about the entering the big working world. I had studied Journalism and Psychology. He was completing his Law degree and would soon become an Advocate. Our time at Highway Radio in Durban was amazing. We loved the listeners, we got great experience and our friendship blossomed. Over time, I got a job at East Coast Radio, and six years later, in 2008 I moved to Johannesburg to work at the SABC. It was an exciting decade in my career. My job gave me the opportunity to travel abroad and I visited many countries covering big events there. From Somalia to New York – I was young, free and determined to excel in my journalism career. In Johannesburg I made new friends, settled in a church and boasted about how much time I had on my hands in this city compared to how hectic my schedule was in Durban. Justin and I stayed in touch but it was only in 2013 that our paths would once again cross.

Justin had been called upon to lead a church in Sunninghill, Johannesburg. The Pastor had fallen ill and relocated to Durban to recuperate. There were just six people who’d remained. They were determined to make sure the Church blossomed again. At this point Justin was Pastoring a church in Mount Moriah in Durban. He flew to Johannesburg every Saturday, stayed over and had a service on Sunday morning, then took the lunchtime flight back to Durban to preach at a service at Mount Moriah at 4pm. This continued for more than a year. It was during this process that we re-connected.

Fast forward a bit and as fate would have it we began dating. At first I couldn’t fathom dating one of my best friends. Little did I know that this would be the least of my concerns. He was a Pastor. A fully fledged Pastor. Justin, after his own battle with the Lord, had given up his role as an Advocate to go into full time ministry. He was still the friend I could chat to for hours on end. Only this time there was another dimension. And it scared the hell out of me.                                                                                     

When he mentioned marriage I cringed. I loved him, but I wasn’t sure exactly what marrying ‘Pastor’ Justin would mean. Since I was a child I was always involved in church – from Mothers’ Day speeches to teaching Sunday school and leading home cells. This was different. My impression from Pastors’ wives was that they were always busy visiting or praying for people, attending church services and planning outreach events. They were also always well dressed, often in suits or beautiful dresses with the perfect nails and hair to match. They sat in the front row with their husbands raising their hands and saying ‘Amen’ as he preached. I couldn’t imagine this for me.

Justin was gentle. He said I would simply need to be his wife, pray for him and support him. He didn’t place any demands on me although his teachings from the scriptures did begin to weigh in on me. Slowly life as I knew it began to change. No more ballroom dancing. No more crazy concerts. Anything that was not in line with the Word of God was not acceptable. He was subtle though. This was of course because he had his eye on the prize – he was still determined to get me to marry him!

On December 19^th 2014 Justin and I got married. It was a beautiful wedding in Krugersdorp. Perhaps I should mention at this point that there were no less than fourteen Pastors present. The moment one Pastor prayed for the blessings of God to rain down on us, it literally began to pelt down! In December 2015 we had our first child.

Years later I still joke with my husband that I believe I walked into this marriage like a lamb to the slaughter. He didn’t tell me the real deal. I wished I had spent some time talking to other Pastor’s wives so I was prepared for what I was getting into. This was a baptism of fire. I thank God for all the women in ministry that I have met since I began this journey as they have given me so much encouragement and inspiration.  

I maintain that anyone who chooses to become a Pastor is definitely cut from a different kind of cloth. I can’t imagine a human being putting themselves in the firing line every single day. It therefore must be a calling. Any and every problem lands at the Pastor’s feet. It doesn’t matter if he was asleep while it happened. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, or whether it can wait or not. It literally becomes his problem to solve. The phone rings constantly. Whatsapp messages roll in, emails appear in his inbox daily and this is apart from the active role he plays ministry – from Bible study classes to growth groups, from Saturday prayer and Sunday’s sermon to international ministry.

I used to think that Pastors only worked on a Sunday, but boy was I wrong! My husband is more out of our home than he is in it. He is always out counselling people, encouraging them and helping to resolve their problems – be it social, physical, emotional or financial. A large portion of those he helps are not from our local church. They go to bigger churches where they have no relationship with the Preacher and they call upon Pastors like Justin when they are in need of help. Like most Pastors I know, he is an all or nothing kind of person. He is passionate about Christ and the ministry and he will go above and beyond the call of duty to help anyone.

I have a full time job as a provincial Radio News Assignment Editor at the South African Broadcasting Corporation. Together with my small team of Reporters we are responsible for covering the news across Gauteng, with the exception of Pretoria which has its own team of journalists. It is a 24/7 job. As a News Editor I constantly have to be on top of things to make sure we have the region covered in the hourly news bulletins which go out on 19 radio stations across South Africa. Any slip ups and I have to answer for it in our national diary meeting the next morning.

I also have to be a wife and a mother to our 3-year old son. My husband carries a lot on his shoulders. Our church is based on the model of family, so we have a personal relationship with each and every person who attends our church. This also means we consider them as part of our family, and we carry the same burdens they do. So it is not uncommon in our house to discuss how to resolve problems, how to help those who are in difficulty and when we ourselves have a discouraging day, to uplift each other. Trust me, there are a lot of problems to deal with. It places physical and emotional strain on us both. We have many sleepless nights. Sometimes the phone rings late at night or in the early hours of the morning and he has to be of help or comfort to someone in need. It’s not easy to have your husband leave you and your son alone at home in the middle of the night and drive on the crime ridden streets of Johannesburg. 

In between we still have to love our son. He has just started school and has so much to say. He knows now that daddy has a ‘meeting’ on most evenings. His dad tries to spend as much time with him as he can when it’s possible. Some nights are dedicated to teaching the Word of God to our church at Bible study, growth groups or in one-on-one meetings. It’s a sacrifice of precious family time and it’s discouraging when people don’t attend or show any appreciation for God’s holy Word.

They say being a Pastor’s wife is also a calling. Well this was a call I never expected! Journalism for me has always been my first love – sharing amazing real life stories with the world. I still battle to fit into the mould of a regular Pastor’s wife. I’m not sure if I need to, but I do know there are expectations from some church-goers that I may never fulfil. In the meantime I continue to support my husband, pray for our church, love God’s people and plan events. And while I may not get the hair right, I try to make sure my nails at least are somewhat beautiful!

-Melini Moses